Love Languages

Ten years ago, Chelan and I were a month away from being married.  I've been reflecting on this for a few days now and it's just so amazing how much has changed in those ten years; namely, the three little people we have added to the mix!  While some might say Caiden, Cambry, and Delaney all look similar, the fact is, they are each so different and have their own unique qualities.

I realized this yesterday while sitting in the waiting room at the dentist's office, of all places!  While Caiden and Cambry had their cleanings, I tried to read a book.  I'm not exactly sure what I read, though, because all I could do was chuckle at Cambry's endless chatter.  She talked the ears off the hygienist and the dentist.  "What's that?"  "Whoa - that's bright!"  "Who's that?"  There was running commentary from the time she sat in the chair until the time they let her go.  She even talked while the hygienist was polishing her teeth!   This is in stark contrast to her brother, who did not say a word or move a muscle unless asked to when he sat down.

Caiden is a rule follower, an organizer, an athlete, a do-er.  When he wants to, he gets things done!  Cambry is quite the opposite:  she's laid back, a chatterbox, a creator, she has a sensitive heart, but also a heart for others.  In fact, yesterday I asked her who she played with at recess.  She told me that she played with Ricardo, the new boy in her class who started school on Monday.  I was so proud of her!

Sometimes I wonder how we can parent such two entirely different children in the same way.  I guess the answer is, we can't.  

I went to the 5 Love Languages website the other day and had each of them take the quiz to see how they receive love most effectively.  Chelan and I read the adult version of The 5 Love Languages before we got married - (well, I tried reading it out loud so Chelan would participate, but I don't think he ever finished it).  I've also read the children's version with our MomTime group - very enlightening and very challenging.  You should go to the website and take the quiz!

The 5 love languages that most people exhibit are:

Words of Affirmation

Physical Touch

Acts of Service

Quality Time

Gifts

The results of the quiz were interesting - especially Cambry's.  We've always thought she was a Physical Touch kid.  However, this quiz revealed that she is a Words of Affirmation kid - she likes to hear positive words from us.  This makes so much sense because lately I've often heard, "You're the best!" or "You're the best sister!"  She has even started telling me when she likes something I've made for supper.  Usually, the way a child receives love best is how he/she gives love.  Running a close second was Gifts.  She does like to receive gifts, and she feels loved when she gets them.

Caiden's result didn't surprise me at all - we've always been able to tell that he's a Quality Time kid.  He would much rather us spend time with him and not do or receive anything else.  I guess I'll continue to play and watch football and basketball with him as much as I can.  Chelan will work with him on the farm or play with him on his Nintendo all that he can.  I think working on homework together is even quality time for him.  He gets our undivided attention for those few minutes.

After all this, what have I learned?  It's important to embrace each child's uniqueness, to love them in a way that they receive love best, and that parenting is challenging!

And, in case you were wondering, my love language is Acts of Service (by far) and Chelan's is Physical Touch!